Unintended consequences – outcomes not foreseen.
I knew I wanted to be a parent; I didn’t realize how it could help my career.
In the Harvey Nash / ARA 2018 Women In Technology survey, the survey team shared one of my comments in the section about having a family and a career in tech: “Every minute is valuable, and my ability to distill the most critical things to complete has sharpened with each year as my personal responsibilities expanded.”
Years ago, I asked my father if he was always ambitious. He replied cheerfully: “I got more ambitious with each one of you.” Punch line: there were seven of us, and yes, he was one of the hardest working men I knew. In his case, he worked hard, and long.
I had the benefit of technology, and being in technology. I worked aggressively smart (and long - but also remotely and at flex hours). The skill I developed most was vigilant prioritization. Nothing motivated me to figure out the fastest way to solve a problem than a car-line pickup deadline at school. Nothing motivated me more to structure meetings efficiently than needing every minute of my face time in the office. I didn’t linger over nonessential messages, articles, distractions.
The payoff was 4 little ones at the kitchen table doing homework while we made dinner and talked about toads, great books, science experiments, lost gloves etc. I was all-in in the office, and I was all-in in the kitchen cooking, and on the couch reading books, and on the floor working puzzles.
To be completely honest, I was not all-in to my fitness, to keeping up with friends, with finishing the books for book club, with keeping the house clean, and heavens knows what else.
But EVERY day I flexed my decision-making muscle about where to invest my time, and how. It made me better, it made my projects successful, and I learned a lot about toads.